You can't make this stuff up

As I was getting off work at the grocery store tonight, a few friends arrived, shopping for groceries to greet our newlywed friends to their new apartment.  "If we sold condoms, I'd buy 'em a family pack," I told Travis in what I thought was a fairly hushed tone.  We snickered and continued perusing the frozen goods.

Two minutes later, as we were about to check out, a distinguished middle-aged gentleman approached me, looking a little bit worried.  "Excuse me."

I realized I was still in uniform and snapped to attention.  "How can I help you, sir?"

"You don't sell condoms?"

I will always be proud that I was able to hold a straight face as I replied, "Sorry, I don't actually know.  I work in the meat department.  I was just wondering, myself."