You can't make this stuff up
As I was getting off work at the grocery store tonight, a few friends arrived, shopping for groceries to greet our newlywed friends to their new apartment. "If we sold condoms, I'd buy 'em a family pack," I told Travis in what I thought was a fairly hushed tone. We snickered and continued perusing the frozen goods.
Two minutes later, as we were about to check out, a distinguished middle-aged gentleman approached me, looking a little bit worried. "Excuse me."
I realized I was still in uniform and snapped to attention. "How can I help you, sir?"
"You don't sell condoms?"
I will always be proud that I was able to hold a straight face as I replied, "Sorry, I don't actually know. I work in the meat department. I was just wondering, myself."